Is Japan the craziest place on Earth? It has to be. Let's forget, for a second, the Harajuku girls, the cosplay, the lolitas, the J-pop, the fetishised vending machines, the hyper-technical toilets and the freakish neatness of cities that, for their size, really should be polluted hellholes. Let's jump straight to the maid cafes.

Because if ever you needed proof that a seemingly up-tight, hard-working and traditional society can have an unexpectedly bizarre underbelly, it's the maid cafes. Maid cafes started springing up in the early 2000s in Akihabara, Tokyo's bustling, glowing electronics district. Photo: Getty Images Let's talk about Meow-Meow, my maid café host, who right now doesn't look impressed. She'd been all big smiles and over-the-top enthusiasm a few seconds ago, but the façade is beginning to crack.