Late-Life Divorce in Japan Reaches Record High

According to vital statistics released by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare in September, the overall number of divorces in Japan has been declining since peaking in 2002. However, the share involving couples who have been married for more than two decades has continued to rise, highlighting a shift in marital relationships as Japan's population ages.

Japan is often described as a country where roughly one in three marriages ends in divorce, but the growing proportion of separations among older couples suggests that even marriages lasting several decades are no longer necessarily considered lifelong commitments.

Divorce counselor Okano, who has worked with couples for more than 35 years, said consultations involving long-married couples have become increasingly common. She estimates that women initiate between 70% and 80% of these divorces, reflecting changing expectations about marriage, independence and quality of life in later years.

One of the men affected by this trend is a 50-year-old bar owner in Osaka known as Macchan, who divorced his wife last year after more than 20 years of marriage.

The couple had gradually grown apart because of their contrasting work schedules. While Macchan operated his bar at night, his wife worked during the day, leaving them with limited opportunities to spend time together. Over the years, the differences accumulated until their relationship reached a breaking point.

Macchan said he never imagined his marriage would end in divorce. His wife eventually left their home without formally telling him whether they were separating, taking her belongings while he was away.

"When I came home, she was gone, and the house was almost empty," he recalled. "I was shocked. She was someone I had always taken for granted, so I never thought something like this would happen."

The divorce transformed his daily routine. He now prepares dinner alone, eats by himself on his days off and handles household responsibilities that his former wife previously managed.

Laundry has become one of his difficulties, with clothes piling up because he has not kept up with taking them to the cleaners.

He described his former wife as a dependable person who had supported their household for many years. Her absence has left him struggling with both the practical responsibilities of living alone and the emotional consequences of losing a longtime partner.

Macchan acknowledged that he had failed to recognize his wife's feelings before the separation. "I wish we had talked more. I regret that I wasn't able to understand how she felt," he said.

Divorce counselors say men who unexpectedly lose their marriages after decades together often struggle to adjust, particularly when they have relied heavily on their wives for everyday household responsibilities and emotional support.

Women who choose to end their marriages, however, sometimes experience a very different transition.

Okada, now 74, divorced her husband at 52 after 18 years together. She said the decision was largely motivated by his harsh treatment of their children, including verbal abuse and excessive criticism.

Although the abuse was not necessarily directed at her, Okada said she could no longer accept the atmosphere at home.

Following the divorce, she focused on building an independent life rather than finding another husband.

"I wasn't thinking about getting married again. I didn't have time for that. I wanted to be free, and I wanted to work as much as I could," she said.

Okada subsequently worked in several positions, including at medical institutions, seeking opportunities to develop her professional skills. She is now active in activities such as organizing accessory-making workshops and describes her life as fulfilling.

"I don't know whether what I did was the right decision, but for me, it was the right one," she said. "And I have to keep making it the right decision."

Her experience illustrates one of the major social changes behind the growing proportion of late-life divorces: Japanese women have increasingly gained the means to support themselves financially.

In earlier generations, women who spent much of their adult lives as homemakers often faced significant financial barriers to leaving a marriage. Greater participation in the workforce, including part-time and full-time employment, has expanded their options.

Longer life expectancy is another factor. With many people now expecting to live well into their 80s or beyond, couples approaching retirement may face the prospect of spending several more decades together.

For women dissatisfied with their marriages, that longer horizon can make remaining in an unhappy relationship seem less acceptable.

Experts say the combination of longer lives and greater economic independence has helped create a society in which women are less willing to endure unsatisfactory marriages simply because they have already lasted for many years.

However, separating after decades together also presents substantial financial and legal challenges.

A lawyer specializing in divorce cases said dividing marital assets is among the most complicated aspects of late-life divorce, particularly when couples have accumulated savings, property and other investments over many years.

Disputes frequently arise over financial disclosure, with one spouse sometimes suspected of concealing assets.

"When someone shows a bank statement and says, 'This is everything I have,' the other person may respond, 'There should be more than that,'" the lawyer said, adding that such disagreements are extremely common.

The financial consequences can be particularly serious for older couples because they have fewer working years remaining to rebuild their savings after a divorce.

Counselors also warn that husbands may fail to recognize signs that their wives are considering separation.

Okano said one particularly important warning sign is a sudden change in a wife's behavior, especially when someone who previously complained frequently about her husband's habits or behavior becomes unusually quiet.

A husband may interpret the silence as a sign that their relationship has improved, when it could actually indicate that his wife has given up trying to change the marriage.

"When a wife who used to say, 'You need to change this' or 'Please do that,' suddenly stops saying anything, the husband shouldn't simply be happy that she has become quiet," Okano said.

"That may mean she has started preparing for divorce, or that her preparations are nearly complete."

She urged couples to pay attention to small changes in their partners' behavior and to maintain communication before dissatisfaction becomes irreversible.

Although divorce counseling traditionally emphasizes efforts to repair relationships, Okano said more people are now moving directly toward preparing for separation when they describe their marriages as emotionally painful.

Instead of first exploring whether a relationship can be repaired, some couples are increasingly considering divorce as the immediate solution.

Yet the rise in late-life divorce is also generating opportunities in another industry: matchmaking services for middle-aged and older adults.

At a matchmaking event held in Osaka on October 12 for people aged 40 and above, participants exchanged personal profiles and held conversations in hopes of finding new partners.

Among them was a woman in her 50s who divorced last year after living separately from her husband for approximately 10 years.

She said she was finally beginning to enjoy personal freedom after years of marital difficulties and wanted to discover new interests and experiences.

"I finally have time for myself, so I'd like to find things I can enjoy from now on," she said.

Another participant, who divorced several years ago and is still raising children, said she was interested in meeting someone with whom she could eventually build a relationship.

The event brought together 10 men and 10 women, resulting in five matches. Some participants planned to continue their conversations over meals afterward.

A matchmaking organizer said many divorced participants have reached a stage in life where they are reconsidering the benefits of companionship.

"Many people who have experienced divorce feel that the rest of their lives might be more fulfilling with two people rather than one," the organizer said. "They decide to take the first step toward finding a new partner."

The growing interest in matchmaking among older adults suggests that divorce does not necessarily mean abandoning the idea of marriage or companionship altogether. Instead, some people are approaching relationships differently after gaining experience from their previous marriages.

For women who have established careers or independent lifestyles, a new relationship may be viewed as a choice rather than a financial necessity. For men who have struggled after divorce, finding another partner can represent an opportunity to rebuild their personal lives.

The experiences of divorced couples also reveal the emotional complexity behind the statistics. While some people describe separation as a path to freedom and personal fulfillment, others continue to struggle with regret, loneliness and the loss of familiar routines.

In interviews with married couples, some acknowledged having considered divorce but said they had remained together for the sake of their children. Others described ongoing frustrations that they had learned to tolerate.

One woman who divorced two years ago became emotional while recalling the difficulties of separation, particularly because her younger child was still small at the time. She said spending nearly every hour together with her husband had gradually become stressful, although she still sometimes questioned whether divorce had been the right decision.

Experts emphasize that divorce itself is not necessarily a negative outcome, particularly where serious problems make continuing a marriage difficult. Nevertheless, they say better communication and greater awareness of a partner's dissatisfaction may help some couples avoid reaching that point.

As Japan's population continues to age and women's economic opportunities expand, the increasing proportion of late-life divorces is reshaping traditional expectations about marriage, retirement and family life, while creating new demand for services supporting older people as they begin the next chapter of their lives.

Source: KTV NEWS