TOKYO - Valentine's Day in Japan is commonly associated with women giving chocolates to men. However, when this tradition extends to the workplace, some wives find it irksome when their husbands receive sweeties.
A mother shared her thoughts on the Mama Sta Community: "I wish married men wouldn't receive Valentine's chocolates. My husband gets carried away, and I'm the one who has to buy the return gift. It ends up costing more than double, so I really want it to stop. What does everyone else think about Valentine's Day?"
When husbands bring home Valentine's chocolates, it seems that the responsibility of preparing a return gift often falls on the wife. Depending on the number of chocolates received, this could cost several thousand yen, or even more than 10,000 yen in some cases. The sight of a husband looking pleased or unusually excited might also cause some concern.
While Valentine's Day doesn't seem to be a particularly enjoyable event for the original poster, other mothers have shared different views:
"I'm happy when my husband receives chocolates because it means I get to eat chocolates we don't usually buy." "I get excited when he brings home chocolates worth 3,000 or 4,000 yen." "I'm happy because I get to eat the chocolates."
It appears that in many cases, the mothers are the ones who enjoy the chocolates brought home by their husbands. Furthermore, these are often special Valentine's chocolates or more expensive varieties, which can be a treat for mothers who love sweets and don't often splurge on such items.
"I enjoy choosing the return gifts, so I'm happy when he receives chocolates." "I like going to department stores to buy return gifts. It's fun to pick out items that young women seem to want, which I wouldn't normally buy."
While some may find the task of buying return gifts to be a hassle, others look forward to it. The experience of shopping for trendy items popular among younger generations or selecting cute accessories can be refreshing and enjoyable.
"I'd feel a bit bad if my husband didn't receive even one 'obligation chocolate.' Does it mean he's disliked at work?"
If a husband brings home chocolates, it can be seen as an indication that his relationships at work are not bad. While not receiving chocolates doesn't necessarily mean there are problems at work, some view the chocolates as a barometer of workplace relationships.
How are mothers handling the return gifts for Valentine's Day?
"I buy return gifts that cost between 300 to 500 yen each, or I buy a large box for all the women in the department, depending on the year. If I receive a lot, I buy a large pack that I can distribute." "For 'obligation chocolate,' I only give back something of equivalent value." "Why not buy something less than half the price for the return gift? It's okay to spend half on Valentine's Day returns."
While some believe in giving back double the value of the chocolates received, this can be a significant burden. To alleviate this, mothers seem to be opting for items costing less than a coin or buying in bulk. Although this results in a cheaper return gift than the chocolates received, it might be good to consider the custom of giving back half the value of a gift received, which is common practice for other celebrations.
Perhaps it's time to reconsider the method of giving return gifts, as even those giving them can find it burdensome.
"My husband's workplace decided to stop giving individual return gifts and instead buy assortments of cookies to share among the male employees. Eventually, the women did the same, and then even that practice faded away." "It would reduce the burden if we could just give and receive in bulk. Or better yet, it would be easier if the tradition disappeared altogether."
In one case, a mother mentioned that her husband's workplace switched to sharing an assortment of sweets as return gifts, which led to the end of individual exchanges and eventually, the tradition itself. Valentine's Day is not only about receiving but also giving chocolates, which can be a hassle for both parties. There have also been opinions questioning the practice of workplace Valentine's exchanges.
Valentine's chocolates are meant to express gratitude, but perhaps it would be more beneficial for both givers and receivers to offer them to everyone at the workplace collectively. Colleagues and superiors might feel the same way, so discussing and changing the method of giving return gifts within the workplace could be a viable option. It might also be worth discussing with one's husband.
Source: MDPR
