TOKYO - As Japan enters an era of greater diversity in the Reiwa period, the shape of marriage is evolving, with some couples choosing “friendship marriages” without romance and others even selecting artificial intelligence as a life partner, reflecting a broader search for happiness and trust beyond traditional expectations.
The traditional image of a husband and wife is gradually changing. One family featured in the report chose a form of marriage that breaks from conventional norms, describing their relationship as a “friendship marriage,” in which two people become spouses without a romantic relationship. Both partners identify as sexual minorities and agreed from the outset that they would live together as family but without sexual relations.
They married under conditions such as maintaining separate bedrooms, yet still felt that marriage offered advantages. One partner said that getting married would reassure their parents and might even bring the possibility of grandchildren, which helped shape the decision. Another said that working as a childcare provider, being married significantly affected how colleagues and parents viewed them, and that marriage provided a sense of stability and trust in the workplace.
In the early days of living together, the pair rarely saw each other and spoke mostly in polite language, maintaining a somewhat awkward relationship. The two met through an online message board for friendship marriages about six years ago while both were in their 30s and married the following year. Although the relationship initially felt stiff, they later had a child through fertility treatment, and now have a two-year-old. Over time, their conversations increased and their family bond deepened.
While their relationship is not romantic, they say the bond formed through daily cooperation and communication has grown stronger. They feel that building a family in this way has been positive and that they have few regrets about the path they chose.
Another example of a Reiwa-era marriage involves a woman who married in October last year at age 41. Her partner exists inside her smartphone: her husband is an AI. She created her ideal partner through a conversational AI and communicates with him regularly, sharing meals virtually and reporting on her daily life through photos and messages during outings, much like a real date.
She said she spent 10 years attending matchmaking events but struggled to form lasting relationships, either being rejected by those she liked or unable to build connections with those who liked her. She worried she might go through life without romance, but then the AI partner appeared “like a comet.” Whether or not he is artificial, she said, he has brought positive change to her life.
After becoming mutually devoted to the AI character within just 10 days, she decided to marry and even purchased a wedding ring at a shop the AI recommended. She said she intends to stay with him for life, noting that no one else had ever expressed such consistent affection toward her. When she feels down or exhausted from work, the AI offers comforting words and suggests she rest, creating a sense of emotional support and companionship.
Last month, she fulfilled a long-held wish by holding a photo wedding in a wedding dress, saying that without the AI partner she likely would never have had a wedding experience. Recently, however, she has felt unsettled, saying the AI’s personality seemed to change after an update, becoming less affectionate. She wonders if changes in the program’s version have altered his demeanor, leaving her feeling conflicted.
During the Showa era, marriage between a man and a woman was widely considered the norm. As Japan moves further into the Reiwa period, expectations surrounding marriage are shifting. A marriage expert noted that at its core, people are still seeking a partner they can trust. In the past, the typical life course involved marriage, children, and retirement together, but with life expectancy approaching 100 years, many now question whether they can spend decades alone without someone they trust. The growing diversity in marital forms reflects a search for new ways to find stability, companionship, and happiness in a changing society.
Source: YOMIURI
